Posts Tagged ‘Bacteria Cysts’

There Is A Fine Line Between Dying and Herxing – Tonight I Think I’m Crossing It

// June 3rd, 2010 // 5 Comments » // LymeBites Blog

It started yesterday, those familiar creeping feelings that I recognize all too well.  I spent a good 6-8 months having regularly cyclical episodes of good days and bad days and herxing, all on a pretty predictable schedule. 

As things have moved forward I’m no longer so predictable, but we’ve been attacking the little buggers inside of me pretty aggresively now for several months.  For quite a while I was taking 2 strong oral antibiotics in addition to strong IV antibiotics being pumped right into my heart. 

And now we are working on this whole “cyst busting” stuff, which I gotta tell you is about the equivalent as a prostate exam with cold hands.  Definitely part of this journey I do not want to embark on.

Each hour I feel worse, it began as a full fledged flu scenario, only I know it’s not the flu.  I went from wanting to throw up, to pass out, then finally to just jerk and twitch uncontrollably in bed.  I had some dinner and was convinced I just needed some food and I’d perk right up. 

So off to a friend’s house to watch Glee (yes, it’s the second time I’ve seen it this week, don’t judge me for being a Gleek!!)  By the time the episode was over I made a beeline to my car (I may have even forgotten to say goodbye to my friends).  Driving home was kind of like being in a bouncy house, only with a couple thousand pounds of metal at my disposal…not the best combination, especially considering I was wearing my glasses which equals instant night blindness. 

I came home and right to bed, where the pain over my one eye become so bad I had to hurt myself in other parts of my body just to distract from the pain.  It worked, but now I’m sure to have bruises all over.  (If I ever get examined my mother is going to be questioned about all the bruises, can CPS still step in even if you are 37?  I certainly do not want to go to a foster family at this stage of the game!)  Let this post be notice that any bruises are not from my Mom.  I figure she’s got at least another week or two before I push her over the edge to where she’s ready to start hitting me. 

So I finally managed to get up out of bed, I missed a call from Ashley, my West Coast partner in Lymenaide Awareness.  So I sent her a text and said I’d get back to her tomorrow, I was either herxing or dying.  She replied “don’t die, that would suck” and that made me laugh. 

So the good news is I think the cyst bustin’ meds are doing their job and I am diving feet first into a herx…but as long as I can still laugh at funny texts I think I can survive it.  If I made it through June, July and August last year, with herx after herx after herx…I can survive this for a few weeks.  Besides, if I don’t get better and beat this I will never be able to realize my dreams to be the first middle age breakdance champion of upstate New York. 

Did I just call myself middle aged?  Wow, I may need to take a sedative after that.  I still think of my mother as middle aged, but at the same time I hope not cuz then she’d live to be 120.  While that would be great I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a hard time taking care of her when I’m in my 90′s. 

But no point thinking about that when I just remembered I’m supposed to be fasting for blood work tomorrow….that means I better eat this package of sugar free cookies and have my ice cold milk now so I get it out of my system for the night.  I tried last night too, but ended up having a glass of milk at 4:30 am in an Ambien like slumber (without taking the Ambien though).

Happy Thursday to you (it is officially after midnight as I type this).  You’re getting closer to the weekend, which means lots of opportunies to get outside and have fun….AND TO GET LYME DISEASE.  Please…if you pick nothing else out of all the nonsense in this post, make it this and protect you and your loved ones this coming weekend from ticks.  We can’t let another generation of people be this sick!!! 

Okay, I’m done with my preaching for the night.  Thanks for spending this stream of consciousness moment with me.

My 11 1/2 Month Check-Up

// May 30th, 2010 // 2 Comments » // LymeBites Blog

So this new medicine I’m about to begin, I’ve learned two things about it so far from Google…and I’ve yet to learn anything else about it that I wanted to know. 

First, it almost seems like you need to have a vagina to take this medicine.  The only uses I can find for it, involve that particular body part.  I know I’m taking it for Lyme, but it hasn’t been easy to find anything on the internet about it with Lyme. 

The second thing is that it causes cancer.  It seems each antibiotic I take the side effects get worse and worse…but cancer I can deal with and fight later on if I need to, but if I don’t beat this Lyme my body would never be able to fight cancer, so it’s really a crap shoot. 

My thought on it all is that if I don’t get better, I won’t have a life to live…so the side effects may kill me, but at least I’ll have my life back to enjoy…I’d rather live a short life full of happiness than a long life full of pain.  (I think most people feel the same way, yet so many choose a life full of pain when they have the choice not to). 

So today was my follow up with the Dr, and I am now beginning medicine that’s referred to as a ”cyst buster”.  The Lyme bacteria can take on three different forms in the body, one of them is cysts.  These cysts act as a protection against the antibiotics, part of why the Lyme bacteria can be so hard to eradicate, and why we can be prone to relapse.  We’ve hit the point in my treatment where we feel that the bacteria are now in this cyst form, the majority of the die off seems to have come to a crawl lately.  This next step will then attack these cysts, hopefully breaking them up…and then at the same time I’ll be pumping my body full of strong IV antibiotics to kill the broken up cysts. 

Are you still with me or have I already put you to sleep?  WAKE UP!!!!  I’ll explain it a little better.  It basically means I can expect a crap storm of a war in my body over the next few weeks…as the cysts break up, bacteria will be released into my body (which can make me feel worse), and then the antibiotics kill the bacteria and will leave dead bacteria floating around in my body (which can also make me worse).  I assume you’re getting the idea here that I’m probably going to be feeling worse. 

Each step in this ugly journey of Lyme disease seems to begin with those famous words in the Lyme community:  You have to get worse before you get better.  But let me tell you my friends, that I am getting pretty sick of getting worse while trying to get better.  This will make the 7th antibiotic I’ve been on in the past 12 months…each one causing die off reactions (which we call Herx reactions).  My Lyme Dr recently described what a herx is very clearly.  If I have 10 pieces of bacteria floating in my body making me sick, and I take medicine that breaks it up…I then have 100 pieces of bacteria floating in my body, and until that bacteria leaves my body the extra load of bacteria makes you much sicker.  It’s very similar to a cancer patient with chemo, the treatment actually makes you sicker than the disease at times. 

But it’s a good thing, and gives me hope.  We continue to move in the right direction…I’m in the 6th day of an upswing in how I’ve been feeling, and I hope that means that my good days will continue to get better and better, and my bad days will be fewer and fewer.