Laughing At Lyme

by Eric Rutulante • July 16th, 2010 • 17 Comments » • Eric's Blog

About a week ago a friend of mine asked if I would dogsit for her while she went to SC for a few days. A few days turned into a few more, and I spent the week up near Albany enjoying the dogs and some solitude. I dubbed the week my “vacation”, only I ended up having quite an awful vacation as far as Lyme is concerned.

By the 3rd day I was in excruciating leg pain and was having trouble using my legs. I joked earlier that day that with only one leg working I was literally going in circles. Part of the problem is not just the pain, but the loss of strength. You spend 14 months with 90% of your time in bed and you lose strength. But when those lovely spirochetes (the little bugs that invade the body with Lyme disease) take over it makes it much worse.

At one point in the afternoon I sat myself down in the recliner to watch some TV, with both legs up and quite reclined (this is why they call it a recliner, for my slower readers). I had the larger of the two pups, DJ (a chocolate cocker spaniel) on my lap. I decided it was time to get up after a while, and let DJ know this. Being the wonderful pup that he is, he jumped off and waited for me to do the same. I grabbed the recline handle thinking I could pull it up to put the foot rest part down and realized this was a recliner that required you to do it with your legs. “Okay” I thought, “I can do this”. But I was wrong. So very wrong.

Shortly after I was writhing around in the recliner, trying with every ounce of strength I had to push the foot rest down, but to no avail. By this time the dogs were both getting jumpy, wondering what was going on (and I think one of them needed to visit the little doggy’s room in the backyard). Eventually, with no other option, I rolled over the side of the recliner and landed with a huge THUD on the hardwood floor of the living room. By then both dogs were barking, and I was hysterical laughing thinking how embarassing it would have to be to call 911.

“What’s your emergency?” – 911 dispatcher

“I’m trapped in a recliner.” - Me

That’s when I imagined the click of the line being cut as the dispatcher hung up to report me to the police for some kind of prank.

That was just the beginning.

I then headed to my favorite Albany area pharmacy where I still have some of my Rx’s from before I moved in with Mom. To preface this, it’s important to tell you that last year I both threw up, and “soiled” myself #2 style in this same store. (Please note this did not happen at the same time…two separate occasions.) I blame both of those on doxycycline and the terror it is on my poor tired of Lyme tummy.

So this day I’m standing in the movies section waiting the 10 mins for my Rx to be filled when I suddenly get this horrible pain above my right butt cheek. I realize that with this pain comes the fact that I can’t move my right leg. “Great, I’m gonna have to call 911 now and tell them I’m stuck in the DVD section at Target” I’m thinking when I felt it. That all too familiar rumble that comes from the combo of Lyme and 14 months of antibiotics.

No time to think, just head for the men’s room lickity split. But wait. I’m down one working leg, and the other one is too weak to drag the rest of me across Target. In the middle of my thought process of what to do I realized there was no time to waste. Or rather, my stomach said “there’s no time to waste”, only it came out as more of a thunderous gurgle. I somehow made it literally dragging one leg along, almost hopping – through the toiletries section (a cruel twist of fate to enter a section with the world toilet in it when you are so in desperate need of one).

I followed an employee into the men’s room who kept looking over his shoulder. He was probably wondering if it was safe for him, what with the beads of sweat dripping down my face, the biting of my lower lip to “hold” things in as long as I could, and the utter look of determination and desperation on my face.

I made it into the handicapped stall with about 2 1/2 second to spare, where I then started fits of giggles at the entire process.

I of course immediately took out my phone and texted everyone I knew and told them they wouldn’t believe it, but I almost did it AGAIN, only this time in a much more violent manner.

Am I proud of the fact that I’ve had two bodily fluid disasters in Target already? No…but I am proud I didn’t make it three this week.

The point of this day, if nothing else, was to remind me we have to laugh at our illness. It’s so depressing on it’s own, we can’t make it any worse by letting the effects of this disease (as well as the treatment) bring us down. Laugh at these ridiculous shenanigans we go through on a daily basis. Tell your friends about it, make them laugh too. It helps them not feel so scared about you being sick if they can laugh with you about it.

My name is Eric Rutulante, and I have chronic Lyme disease. And sometimes, it’s hilarious…laugh with me, it will make you feel better.

17 Responses to “Laughing At Lyme”

Alyssa says:

July 16, 2010 at 10:10 PM

Eric…I love it!! You are sooo right!
We have to laugh at the craziness of it all…and when the sh$t hits the fan (no pun intended)…the best way to cope is to giggle like mad in the handicap stall. Thank you for keeping it in perspective for all of us!! You are a bright shiny gem in a sea of pain and suffering for many!!
Eric Rutulante says:

July 16, 2010 at 10:27 PM

Thank you Alyssa….we are a family in this big mess we’re in, and as a family we fight together, inspire each other and hopefully laugh our *sses off along the way. It really is good medicine!!! (Okay, it won’t CURE Lyme, but it sure makes it more bearable!)
Bambi says:

July 16, 2010 at 10:56 PM

I have to agree with Alyssa, only
another lymey can truly understand both what you have to go thru on a daily basis and the obstacals we have to overcome. Luckily, Eric, when that last happened to me, I was at home and no one else was here, but I didn’t make it. My house is only 1200 square feet and the bathroom in right in the center, from either direction the bathroom is only 10 steps away, still, I didn’t make it. I cried at least an hour that day, feeling so lonely and depressed. I will never cry again over that, I’ve met to many so like myself and many much worse. Never will I cry over what this disease has done to me, instead, I now cry about what its done to others.
Eric Rutulante says:

July 16, 2010 at 11:01 PM

Sometimes you have to cry, but you certainly have to laugh too!! It’s amazing how far we come because of being sick…
Geri says:

July 16, 2010 at 11:11 PM

I feel for you Eric. Been there, done that, comes to mind. I was shopping, using one of those lovely electric carts instead of my wheelchair (Have you ever tried to push a shopping cart from a wheelchair?) when the “need for speed” hit. Only problem is, you can’t take the cart into the restroom! I can stand if I need to but have NO sense of balance, so picture a woman desperately clinging to the wall, inching along with a frantic look on her face!
I was prouder than any 2 yr old when I met up with my companions & announced “I went to the bathroom all by myself!” Knowing the circumstances, they immediately congratulated me, but we all got weird looks from those within earshot!
Molly says:

July 17, 2010 at 10:10 AM

Thanks for the reminder to look at humor in the worst. Most days I’m so intent on just getting through and back home I forget to smile and look at my lifte with gratitude. I get wrapped up in what I have to do and how much longer everything takes I forget to take a break and have fun. Even misery is easier to take if it’s shared. Lyme indeed bites but we can bite back harder with laugher and joy.
Britta says:

July 17, 2010 at 11:16 PM

Ha ha ha this was awesome! I love using humor to get through stuff!
Kaeli says:

July 18, 2010 at 7:58 PM

Oh my gooodness!! You are sooo amazing!!! I was just diagnosed as a lymee… and yupp… you gotta laugh… it makes the world go round!! Cheers to you for being such a FABULOUS person!!!
Ashley van Tol says:

July 19, 2010 at 9:36 PM

Oh Eric! I laugh at myself and my situation a lot, but I don’t know if I could do it with that story! You are the best!!!
Tricia says:

July 20, 2010 at 12:02 AM

Thank you for reminding us to laugh! I have a little guy with Lyme and I think I probably spend too much time thinking about the nasty side. You have a great sense of humor…keep it up!
Eric Rutulante says:

July 20, 2010 at 12:53 AM

Thanks Tricia….glad I can help some people in this awful disease….and it really lightens it all up when you can laugh at the things that could also make you cry. Thank you for reading.
Eric Rutulante says:

July 20, 2010 at 12:54 AM

Maybe not at first Ash, but eventually. And if I’m going to be open about the fact I have Lyme and what it’s done to my life, I want to completely open about it….so to tell the whole story you gotta be able to do it laughing…like I keep saying Lyme is laugh or cry, so take the laugh when you have the choice!! Thank you for helping me to laugh and remember that!
Eric Rutulante says:

July 20, 2010 at 12:55 AM

Thank you Kaeli, and welcome to the club….love to have you with us, but sorry you have to be with us! But it is sooo important to laugh. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Eric Rutulante says:

July 20, 2010 at 12:58 AM

Britta that’s the key!!! So glad you love using it and do so…I’m sure you can attest how much it helps!
Eric Rutulante says:

July 20, 2010 at 12:58 AM

Ha ha….thank you for sharing Geri!
Eric Rutulante says:

July 20, 2010 at 12:59 AM

Molly you are welcome. We are a Lyme community, and the community mentality is to help each other…there are days I will need to be reminded myself and will count on you or others to do that for me. Love the biting back comment. Thank you for your comments and support of the site.
Eric Rutulante says:

July 20, 2010 at 1:01 AM

Bambi, thank you for your comment and story. I love that you point thre are worse than us. A friend who was diagnosed and has been treating and feels brand new said to me she could never understand my pain, her worst day was better than my best day…and I said yes, but I remember that my worst day is not as bad as someone else’s. Important to remember that. Thank you for crying for the rest of us, and I hope you take the time to laugh too. But I know you from FB and I can tell you like to laugh, you have an amazing sense of humor. Never let that go!!!